Meet The Loseys

For the third time within the past year, one of my best friends called me up to say "Hey, what's up? I got married tonight."

Renee Mayfield married Jason Losey on Friday, November 13th after 2 1/2 years of blissful dating. It was real low-key (obv since I found out about it afterwards) but totally appropriate for them. The big, flashy, white, lacy, cake to do was never really Renee's thing.

She's always done her own thing, her own way which is why I first approached her in P.E. class way back in the ninth grade. That girl has her eyebrow pierced YOU GUYS! And she didn't have a curfew. And she's older (by a whole year!). And she can pull of every shade of hair color imaginable (although we love her the most RED). Seriously, Renee was the coolest person I had EVER come across (and still is). She definitely has this edge about her, a toughness on the surface but she is one of the most caring people I have ever met. And she's funny. Hysterical, actually. We are 12 years into our lifelong friendship and realized recently that we have never gotten in a fight. That has GOT to break some kind of record for teenage/mid-20 girls. We've just always been very real with one another and we've always known how to have a DAMN GOOD TIME. Did you hear about the time that we memorized the dance to N*SYNC's "Bye, Bye, Bye" and performed it for her dad so he would buy us tickets to their concert? He stayed true to his word and that was the first of MANY concerts featuring Justin Timberlake and/or Britney Spears that we would attend. Yes, Eener is my guilty pleasure partner. From car dancing to the THONG SONG to standing in line at Smith's at the crack of dawn to get tickets to N*Sync to the new obsession of the Twilight saga...we are TOTALLY geeks about everything tweens are supposed to eat up like candy. She has been such an amazing friend to me over the past 12 years. We've survived high school, heartbreak, a car crash, the fall of Britney Spears, hangovers, the wrath of Pep, birth and death of family pets, opening night of New Moon and did I mention hangovers?

And Jay....he's THE SAME as us (minus the Tween loving, he is a little more on the Punk Rock side). We have SSFS every Sunday night at their house where we eat ridiculous amounts of food and spend the evening watching TV, playing RockBand and talking shit. Last night Golden Spoon was the featured dessert of the evening. As we're watching The Simpsons, Jay gets up and says (in complete seriousness), "I'm going to have my Cingha-Hoo-Ha now but I'm guessing you girls want to wait on yours?" I said "Pardon?", come to find out Jay has made up names for EVERYTHING and it 97% of the time, it starts with Chinga. Who does that?? People that I love to associate with aka: not the norm. Plus he's REAL GOOD about asking me about my new boy endeavours and is open about giving me the male perspective of my dating life if I need it.

So on the wedding....can I get a "I called it!" and maybe not exactly the way it went down but it does make total sense for them. From the moment I first hung out with Renee and Jay, I knew that they would tie the knot. Funny this is, we went to high school with Jay and had you asked me then what I thought about the two of them getting hitched one day, I would have looked at you like "Say WHA?" But that's the way the world works sometimes. One day, you can be wandering the halls of Cimarron Memorial together and 10 years later, you can be happily married with 5 dogs and a home.

Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Losey. I love you both and am so, so happy for your new life together (and with me every Sunday).

Only in Vegas

I now represent a chocolate company (ethel's, my heart), a pizza place (Sammy's, my stomach) and a titty show (Fantasy, my....?) which HELLO, only in Vegas.

I've been meaning to do this post for awhile now, seeing as I live in one of the most unconventional cities in the world. So I've made a little list of things that I have experienced that made me say "Only in Vegas."

1. Every time I leave town and come home through McCarren Airport, the sound dingdingding of the slot machines, sounds like home. Or how about the fact that, most of the time, I don't even hear that sound anymore. This worries me, have I been here too long??

2. I drive past New York, New York, Paris and Monte Carlo to get to school.

3. It's 92 degrees at 8 a.m. OR more recently, it's 88 degrees in the middle of November.

4. We have a snow day once every 30 years (and for 8 inches of flurries).

5. 1/2 of the pictures on your Facebook have the "Spy on Vegas" logo in the bottom right corner.

6. Your night starts at 11 because here, there is no such thing as LAST CALL.

7. The Hard Rock Pool (home of Rehab) is like your friend who really isn't your friend but you pretend to like them so you can go swim in their AWESOME pool. Because The Strip is our backyard.

8. You despise the saying "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." As Lauren once pointed out, it doesn't count if you stay in Vegas.

9. Have you ever heard the one about the time I went to a friend's wedding and ended up with three Asian prostitutes at my hotel door at 4 a.m.? If not, ask me about it next time we have drinks, it's a good one.

10. If there isn't FREE CHAMPAGNE FOR LADIES, I'm not going.

11. It's 2 p.m. on a Friday and you're sitting at rehearsals for a topless show next to Robin Leach.

12. State taxes are considered foreign policy to you.

13. You know when Nevada Day is and feel the right to celebrate.

14. You come out on November 17th to a chocolate factory to watch 3-acres of cacti get lit up with 1/2 a million lights (and consider it a holiday tradition).

15. The boy you're (no longer) dating, tells you he just got a new job working security. At a strip club.

16. A story of the dangers of pole dancing in a moving vechicle runs in the daily paper.

I'm sure there are a ton more and I'd love to hear your own "Only in Vegas" story in the comment section below. I'll continue to add to this list as Vegas happens.

Wild Things

This year, I got it in my head that I wanted to be Max from Where the Wild Things Are. I did multiple searches - and if you know me, you know that I am the QUEEN of searches - but nothing was coming up. I found a few Max costumes on Etsy but they were $100 +. I couldn't believe it - how, when the movie came out TWO WEEKS before Halloween - were there not an abundance of Max and Wild Things roaming around??

This is when I picked up the phone.

"Hey, Ma."

"Hey, Kate. What's Up?"

"Ummm...I wanted to see if maybe...possibly, you might somehow consider making me a Halloween costume this year."

"What?"

"Yeah, you see, I really want to be Max from Where the Wild Things Are and you can't find that costume like ANYWHERE so we'd have to make it."

"We'd?? You must be out of your God damned mind."

A week later we were at JoAnn's picking out fabric and patterns (have I told you lately how much I love my mom?!?) and a week after that, I was headed to my first Halloween party all Maxed out.

A lot of people didn't get it, but I don't think I was working with the right crowd that night. I heard a lot of "King of the Bunnies!" (WTF?) but today, today is our annual costume contest at work and I've got Max in my car just ready to make the debut he finally deserves.

This costume contest goes hand-in-hand with SK+G's Annual Chili Cook-Off Event (and yes, today is basically a big party at the agency.)

Another matter that also deeply involves Pep (again, I love my ma!). The wonderful woman that I call my mother has spent weeks preparing the the 1st place winner (I swear, we've got this one in the bag. We placed 2nd last time). She is even making a side of homemade southern- style cornbread with chipotle cheddar. I KNOW, SHE = AMAZING.

So wish us luck. The Spice Girls are gonna OWN the Chili Cook-Off 2009 event. Sing it with me now (to the tune of Wannabe) "If you wanna eat my chili, grab yourself a spoon. This chili is forever, the spiciness never enddddsss."

OMG You Guys...I've Missed YOU!

Ah, life. It's been a little hectic lately. Ok, well for the past few months. I can tell you that every single day I think to myself "I've got to write on HSCOOC, I've got to blog about something FAB for all of my 16 readers." And then I get a call or someone is leaving town, or coming into town or hey, I'm gonna leave town or I'm working an event, and hey, the girl left the show, OH WAIT THE CACTUS LIGHTING IS ALMOST HERE. And in between all of that time, I get to do school work. And yell at Gordon.

But I promise to get back on track, I've got so much to say (as always).

In the meantime, will you forgive me if I post some really cute pictures of Jordyn Love? You see, I babysat the little cutie a couple weeks back and have been waiting for her to sign this release so I could post pictures of her (her career as a struggling artist is really blowing up big time).

She has been super busy with a number of important things, like learning how to count to four, getting ready for BH2 and potty training. Maybe she could come over and teach Gordon a thing or two since we're REGRESSING.

And, just for the record, I did not think she could possibly stick the whole banana in her mouth but THEN SHE DID.

Do Guys Google?

Guys, I can tell you that 99.9% of the time, if you give a woman your first and last name, she is going to Google you. It's just a fact. Some of us even get Google alerts on ourselves. So when the time comes and I present a gentleman with my first and last name, I have to wonder....do guys Google?

I am Googleicious. If roles were reversed and I googled a guy and 1/2 the stuff that comes up on me, came up on him, I would think I hit the jackpot. My whole life shows up. Including this blog (hence, the whole my whole life thing). A guy that I just started seeing could type in my name and all of a sudden, have access to my past, my present and my future. He could immediately know all of the 100 things I want to do before I die. See ugly photos of me. Learn about my speech impediment. Understand how seriously I take the art of cheese. And of course, while on that subject, my picky picky eating habits. He could probably single handily from this blog, decide he never wants to see me again.

In this day and age, thanks to this world wide web, a relationship could end before it even begins. With Facebooks and MySpaces and Blogs and Twitters....and even if he did decide to see me again after reading this blog...WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO TALK ABOUT? I give HSCOOC all my best stories.

Don't get me wrong, this blog is my heart but it does take the mystery out of getting to know someone. This blog is me. Meet me. Katie Knoch. My whole life is an open URL for your reading pleasure.

So, guy...is that you? Did you Google me and you're reading this now freaking out because I'm totally on to you and your antics?

Or am I just being paranoid? Either way, this calls for a poll. I would imagine that like .02% of my readers are actually male but girls, maybe you could ask your men...did you ever Google me when we first met? Holler with your findings over to the left.

When Life Gives You Lemons...

My mom picked up this pitcher for me last weekend and I am absolutely in love with it. I cannot wait to make a large batch of ice tea to pour out of it!

I've had quite the week (again). Our little Gordie boy got sick Sunday morning. His symptoms were "coming out of both ends" (sorry!) and he was REAL lethargic, we went to Pep's on Sunday and he wasn't even interested in playing with Darby and Allie. He just laid and laid and laid. Until I was asleep and then he cried and cried and cried. So we had a pretty rough night which ended up with him at the vets, staying over so they could monitor him. The good news is, he is now home with me and seems to be on the road to recovery. $500 on the pup in the last week.

Then my Jeannette the Jeep started giving me troubles. Whenever the car was idling, the oil pressure gage would go all the way down to zero and my check gages light would DING and light up. This happened EVERY. TIME. I. STOPPED. And since my dog was sick, I couldn't be without a car so I heard that dinging a lot (two words, Wiz) this week. However, dropped the car off this morning, got it fixed. $200.

Dentist DRAMA. Apparently my old dentist (for those of you who live in Las Vegas, never ever ever ever go to Dr. Trobough...he is a shady shady man) never put my crown on correctly for the root canal he did on me last year. Now, since the crown never fit, I've got an infection under there and need to replace the crown. Insurance does not replace crowns that are less than 60 months old. It's been about 14 on this one. Which means, unless Dr. Ahole decides to pay up, I'll have to cover 100% of the cost of the crown. Either way, as of this week, $550 at the dentist.

Yesterday was a reeeaaallll joy. It all started when I tripped walking up the stairs at work. Then, at lunch, I decided to go home, relax and make a PB&J. I got all the way home and up my three flights of stairs to realize that I left my keys sitting on my desk at work. So, Ok. I go get some Chipotle instead. It's a nice day out, I'll sit and read my Entertainment Weekly but OH WAIT I TOOK IT OUT OF MY PURSE THIS MORNING. Ok. I guess I'll come and eat my lunch at my desk. Get back to work to realize I'm locked out of my office because, again, KEYS ARE SITTING ON MY DESK.

Oh and I haven't made out in nearly THREE MONTHS. Sorry, Dad.

So you know that pitcher up top there. Yeah, scratch the iced tea...Renee is coming over tonight and I plan on filling it with red red wine and sipping the night away.

A Week in the Life Of Cheese

Monday: Work and a root canal, nothing else needs to be said here. That was enough for one day. Oh and Gossip Girl :)
Tuesday: Work, class and skate with Gordon.
Wednesday: Work, Wednesday class canceled but still have to head to a work event. Leave work event. Walk Gordon. Go on date. Don't get enough sleep.
Thursday: This is where it gets good. This is the day that I decided to QUADRUPLE BOOK MYSELF for one evening. It went something like this:
8:30 a.m. - 4:27 p.m. WORK
4:45: Happy Hour at Sammy's with Jen, my client from ethel's. Drink wine. Eat tapas. Happiest Hours indeed.
5:45: Get home, feed Gordon, change, Hi Sienna!
6:30: Arrive at Pep's to drop Gordon off before I go to a film at UNLV
7:00: Park at UNLV
7:17: Finally find the building where the film (The Other Side of Immigration, in case you're curious) was showing. I parked SO FAR. I've been going to this school on and off since like 2002 and I still don't know my way around campus. Awesome.
8:36: Back to Pep's, eat dinner, watch Vampire Diaries.
9:47: Arrive at Tenaya Creek for Chad's (RIP) 30th Birthday get together. It is like a high school reunion. Drink beers.
10:55: Pick up Gordon from Pep's to drive home. At this point I am trying to decide if I can make my fourth obligation of the evening.
11:53: After deciding I WILL make it, dropping Gordon off, driving BACK down to the Strip, getting stuck in the worst traffic ever on Flamingo and LV Blvd (rush hour on the Strip is like 11:35 p.m.) I finally arrive to Ellis Island.
Friday
12:07 a.m.: Watch Chris perform an awesome rendition of Oasis' Wonderwall, including a remix of A MILLI over the track.
12:22: Decide to depart Ellis Island and head for Dino's where, once again, we become BEER PONG CHAMPIONS.
2:34 a.m.: Home. Sleep.
7:43 a.m.: UP FOR WORK. Big day today.
8:47 a.m. - 1:11 p.m.: Spent compiling and organizing a list of RSVPs for over 1100 people for the Lagasse Stadium party.
1:36 p.m.: Lunch with Lobo
2:34: Nap
4:07: Gordon walk
6:29 p.m.- Midnight: Arrive at The Palazzo. This evening my team and I worked on a FAB event for the opening of Emeril Lagasse's new sportsbook at the Palazzo. Bar, Book and BAM! as we like to say. The event ran very smoothly and it was awesome to be a part of a big star-studded event but I was a very tired girl when I got home at 1:02 a.m.
Saturday
2:12 a.m.: SLEEP.
7:30 a.m.: Up to meet with school group at Sbux. And no, not that Sbux. Boca Park Sbux. Gordon comes with me.
12:53 p.m.: Lunch with Lo (we do this a lot)
2-4 p.m.: Lay out by the pool with Lo, finally a chance to decompress and catch up on my Entertainment and US Weeklies.
8:30 p.m.: Dinner at Firefly with friends. Sangria. Tapas. Happy.

11 p.m. - 2 a.m.: Freemont East. Don't Tell Mama. The Griffin. Watch a fight break out with a bunch of kids dressed in golf outfits. Oh, downtown.

Sunday

11 a.m.: Park with Andi for dog walk

12 p.m.: Arrive to Pep's for a day filled with crafts, errands, shopping and homework

4:30: Linner with Aunt Karen

7:30: Anika comes over and we pre-party it up for the Britney Spears concert. Homemade tee-shirts included

9 - 11 p.m.: Watch Britney struggle through her last show of the Circus tour. A great time was had but she was tired and you could tell. Plus if you recall, Eener and I were just at this same show 5 months ago. But free tickets are free tickets and Britney is Britney!

Monday

1:03 a.m.: Sleep.

The rest of the day consisted of a full days work, homework, getting home, feeding and walking Gordon and meeting Aunt Karen for dinner and drinks down at Town Square.

It is now Wednesday and I still haven't caught my breath.