Monday, November 9, 2009

Only in Vegas

I now represent a chocolate company (ethel's, my heart), a pizza place (Sammy's, my stomach) and a titty show (Fantasy, my....?) which HELLO, only in Vegas.

I've been meaning to do this post for awhile now, seeing as I live in one of the most unconventional cities in the world. So I've made a little list of things that I have experienced that made me say "Only in Vegas."

1. Every time I leave town and come home through McCarren Airport, the sound dingdingding of the slot machines, sounds like home. Or how about the fact that, most of the time, I don't even hear that sound anymore. This worries me, have I been here too long??

2. I drive past New York, New York, Paris and Monte Carlo to get to school.

3. It's 92 degrees at 8 a.m. OR more recently, it's 88 degrees in the middle of November.

4. We have a snow day once every 30 years (and for 8 inches of flurries).

5. 1/2 of the pictures on your Facebook have the "Spy on Vegas" logo in the bottom right corner.

6. Your night starts at 11 because here, there is no such thing as LAST CALL.

7. The Hard Rock Pool (home of Rehab) is like your friend who really isn't your friend but you pretend to like them so you can go swim in their AWESOME pool. Because The Strip is our backyard.

8. You despise the saying "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." As Lauren once pointed out, it doesn't count if you stay in Vegas.

9. Have you ever heard the one about the time I went to a friend's wedding and ended up with three Asian prostitutes at my hotel door at 4 a.m.? If not, ask me about it next time we have drinks, it's a good one.

10. If there isn't FREE CHAMPAGNE FOR LADIES, I'm not going.

11. It's 2 p.m. on a Friday and you're sitting at rehearsals for a topless show next to Robin Leach.

12. State taxes are considered foreign policy to you.
13. You know when Nevada Day is and feel the right to celebrate.

14. You come out on November 17th to a chocolate factory to watch 3-acres of cacti get lit up with 1/2 a million lights (and consider it a holiday tradition).

15. The boy you're (no longer) dating, tells you he just got a new job working security. At a strip club.

I'm sure there are a ton more and I'd love to hear your own "Only in Vegas" story in the comment section below. I'll continue to add to this list as Vegas happens.


Arlene said...

Only Vegas- where it doesn't really pay to go to college because no matter what degree you pursue, valet parkers and bartenders make more money than you. I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "I don't need to love what I do because I can retire before you."

x said...

Only in Vegas does the Sex and the City term "modelizer" translate to "stripperizer."