Thursday, June 25, 2009

R.I.P. MJ, The King of Pop

Michael Jackson
August 29, 1958 - June 25, 2009.
"If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with."
You (and your moonwalk) will be missed, Mike.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Killa Bees On Attack

Stop me if you've heard this one before. I was attacked by bees at age 8.

Note: I apologize if this post isn't the most riveting one ever, although getting attacked by bees is pretty serious stuff. You see, all the stuff I'd LIKE to write about, I can't. Well, I could but I am 99.8% sure it would come back to bite me in the ass. My new friend (yes, I am 8), blogs anonymously and I had a conversation with her not too long ago about how I sometimes wish I was writing with no by-line. The freedom to be able to express daily frustrations or just plain talk shit with no repercussions seems so LIBERATING. But instead, you all know who I am, what I look like and that I don't like hamburgers.

But enough of that. On to the ATTACK.

So my family owns a piece of land called The Rambo. The Rambo Run stretches for three miles with a fishing stream. My Grandpa and a few of his buddies way back in the day, bought this piece of land so they could have their own place to fish and shoot the shit. Or be men. Whichever you prefer. It has since been passed on and has a few hundred members. I think you have to be invited to join this club, so don't hold your breath. Even my invite hasn't shown up yet and my dad is the secretary. But I digress, since my dad loves trout fishing more even more than he loves Elton John, a TON of my childhood memories took place at The Rambo. And it is beautiful. See?

And yes, that first photo is of me fly fishing. Well, trying to at least. Again, the digression.
So I had this boyfriend when I was 8, Chris Kourner. I have no idea if I spelt his name correct but hopefully, Chris, if you're reading this, don't hold it against me. It's been a long time since I've scribbled your last name combined with my first. Chris and I were walking through the Rambo woods which consists of a VERY narrow path, one in front of the other sort of walking style. Chris, being the gentleman that he was (or so I thought), was walking ahead of me. We're almost to The Falls (pictured above) when Chris suddenly turns around, pushes me out of the way (there goes the gentleman title) and starts running like a bat out of hell. By the time that I can figure out what is going on, there is a giant swarm of bees heading towards me. I started screaming like the 8-year-old girl that I was and took off running with my arms flailing above me trying to fight off the bees. Now, keep in mind, this is like 1991, the same year that 'My Girl' hit the big screen. Yeah, you know the one where the kid DIES from a bee sting. Awesome. Luckily, I am not allergic and am here to tell you this story today. I escaped with a mere 30 or so stings covering mostly my hands, arms and cheeks. Not butt cheeks. Face cheeks.
I broke up with Chris that day.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Skatin' Kate

For my birthday, I asked for a pair of rollerskates. NOT rollerblades. Rollerskates. Quads. The classics. You see, Sir Gordon has a whole lot of energy and thanks to our 600-square-foot condo, not a lot of room to burn it off. As we know, I tried running out for awhile and that lasted approx. 9 days. I thought about getting the bike out but then I remember that I live on the third story and can barely get my groceries up without help, much less my 40 pound bike. So rollerskates seemed like the perfect solution.

So on Wednesday, I grabbed my tube socks and dog and tied the bad boys on. As soon as I stood up in them, it started raining. In June. In VEGAS. Screw it, Gord, let's ROLL.

And roll we did. Holy crap. Luckily, skating came back like it was still '94 inside Crystal Palace and Good Vibrations by C&C Music Factory started playing in my head. We decided to stay local within the complex since it was our first time. Gordon had a blast, running through the water with his mom on skates yelling "GORDON! SLOOOOWWW DOOOOWWNWNNNNN!" the whole time.

We went to the park yesterday and let me tell you, rollerskates and a goldendoodle get A LOT of crazy looks. But, THAT IS HOW WE ROLL.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Life's a Beach

Beginning last Wednesday, June 10...the above photo became my new home. Lobo, Double L and myself traveled down to Florida for the wedding of Miss Nicole Vier to Mr. Stevie Westlake. The best part about this blog is that it can be told mostly through pictures. Let's start with the travel day.

Travel Day: Lauren and I took a red eye out. Our flight left Vegas at 1 a.m., we then had a two-hour layover in Houston and finally arrived to Florida at 10:30 a.m. Wednesday morning. This was to be cost efficient and to not have to lose any beach time if necessary. We were like zombies but at least my outfit was awesome.
Yeah, I am pretty much Posh Spice when I travel.

Day One: Still, this is technically Wednesday but since that photo already stole the show, I'm giving the rest of them a clean slate. We had lunch with Bookie (that would be the bride) and promptly changed into our swimsuits to hit the beach. This was not before we checked into our humble aboade. Now, you should know something about The Seahorse Cottages. First off, the biggest JACKASS in the world runs it. They consist of five broke-down-ass cabins that happen to sit right on the beach. This means that people will stay there no matter what. The guy puts absolutely no care into the place what-so-ever, he basically is just waiting for the Hiltons to come and offer him a pretty penny for his land so he can peace the f out. The only thing this douche bag, Kevin, has going for him (besides the prime beach location), is his handyman Johnny Steel Depp. THE NICEST GUY EVER. But, I digress, Bookie had gotten us a CRAZY deal to stay there since the whole wedding party was there for the whole week and we were bringing this guy more business than he had seen since the turn of the century. $392 for the week. On the beach. Sold. Wait, is that a cockroach? It's's Florida...there are going to be bugs. Wait, are those fleas? Um...let's spray? This was how the first three days went of our trip. At night we would have to get SO WASTED just so we could pass out in the bed without thinking about all the creepy crawling things that were keeping us company. After staying in this place, we got a whole new meaning to "Don't let the bed bugs bite." So if you Googled "Seahorse Cottages" in Treasure Island, FL like I tried to do so many times before we booked the room, here is some advice....DO NOT STAY THERE. And if you must, request cabin 4 or 5. Now, some pretty pictures from Day One.

Day Two: Dr. Lindsay HotBuns arrives. Beach. Kill bugs. Beach. Eat. Sleep. Drink. Beach. Beautiful Sunset. Drink. John's Pass and Pizza. Go for a midnight dip in the ocean with the wedding party. Kill bugs. Drink. Sleep.

Day Three: Sleep until NOON. Eat. Beach. Kill bugs. Drink. Barbecue. Start regularly corresponding with SBC. Fall more in love with being 26. Drink. Kill bugs. Sleep. And don't worry about the photo below of me flipping off my BFF...I'm pretty sure she had just told me that Kevin, the jackass that owns the Seahorse Cottages was my boyfriend. Or I was just trying to get a good picture. Either way, it worked.

Day Four: WEDDING DAY. Now let me just tell you that I have known Stevie and Nicole for about eight years now. I have watched them be together and break-up and talk about how much they love each other and for awhile there, they just seemed to be star-crossed. But a few years ago, they threw caution to the wind, basically said F It and up and moved to Florida together. This was the first time I had seen her in two years and it was like it hadn't even been two weeks. Those are the best kinds of friends. And the best kind of wedding is the kind when you can TRULY see and feel the love between two people. When you are watching two friends exchange their vows, knowing how long they've waited to say those words to one another and you actually feel privileged to be there to witness history in the making. I know, cheesy but sometimes it is just necessary. Bookie did a beautiful job of putting this shindig together and you really couldn't beat the scenery. Plus Keith, the father of the bride, was mixing us up some deliciously strong beverages. The soldiers that we are, Lauren and I went out for drinks with Ann and Jake afterwards and pretended to watch the UFC fight. Oh, what is that? You want to see the photos from the wedding? Ok, but brace yourself. This one looks like it's straight out of Vanity Fair.

I know, I know....they are a sickeningly beautiful couple. But if it makes you feel any better, they deserve every piece of it. And yes, the cake was delicious.

Day 5: Recover. Pizza for breakfast! Rays game. Italian dinner. The only alcohol-free day of the trip. To bed early. But not before we stopped by THE DRUM CIRCLE. Apparently, every Sunday night from 6-10 p.m. a BUNCH of people get together and beat some drums. Now, when I heard of this earlier in the week, I thought 'hm, that could be cool.' I had NO idea what an actual...let me put it this way, it was LEGIT. With glow sticks. But I shouldn't have even mentioned that part because I don't want to take away from the authenticity of this drum circle. I wanted to pick up a tambourine so hard. Instead, I took photos.

Day 6 and 7: were spent ALL DAY ON THE BEACH. I was soooo relaxed that I didn't even pick up a camera. Oh and as a bonus, since we were on the Gulf side, the temperature of the water was approximately 84 degrees. Glorious. The only thing Lobo and I did do those days were hunt for seashells. It became a sickness, in fact but there will be some awesome art projects to come out of it.

This really was the ultimate vacation, I didn't drive a car or wear shoes for seven days. I don't even mind that I'll be dumping sand out of my belongings for the next six weeks. Special thanks to Bookie and Stevie for being great hosts, for Keith and Carol for bringing the laughs, for the fleas for not coming home with us and to my BFFs who made it a summer trip I'll never forget :)

Monday, June 8, 2009


Hello, 26! I have been waiting and waiting for you. 25 was a real piece of shit (pardon my language but it is the truth) and are already like 100 times better than 25. I am so glad that my nearest and dearest RANG YOU IN the way we did.

Since we took approx. (or exactly) 143 photos that night, you know we had a good time and even better, you will SEE that we had a good time. We started the day at Pep's where she cooked up a delicious little barbecue complete with that Nothing Bundt Cake. Then headed to the Golden Nugget where Double L had decorated the room complete with Happy Birthday, Katie! signs that her kids from school made for me.

The first stop was Downtown Cocktail Room where Edward created a special birthday cocktail for me consisting of champagne and watermelon foam. SO DELICIOUS. This is where I am going to stop telling you about the drinks though because if I try to think back on all I had, I might puke now...yes, 2 days later.

Don't Tell Mama. We walk in and they have reserved a spot for us complete with birthday balloons and wands and cards. SO SO SO SWEET, I wanted to cry. Our girl Bianca serenaded me with Happy Birthday and the drinks and the fun were FLOWING. After a few hours there, we headed back to DCR to finish off the night. But, like any good birthday, the night didn't actually end until very, very early the next day.

June 7th was spent lounging by the pool at the Golden Nugget with my favorites, followed by dinner at Joe's Stone Crab (how I love you Jennie's Mashed Potatoes...) and topped off with a bottle of wine at my place with Eener and Miss Anika Jones.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who came out to celebrate with me (and to Panda for doing my lovely make-up). I wouldn't change one thing about the truly was a FANTASTIC way to kick 25 out the door and welcome 26 with open arms.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Sir Gordon Snacks A Lot Turns One

Dear Gordo,

You truly have been my rock over this past year. A year that had high-highs and low-lows but you always took the time to poop on the floor. And I know you did this so I would have something else to focus on other than my quarter-life crisis.

People told me that having a puppy would be a lot of work. Man, they wern't kidding. From you eating raw chicken at ten weeks old to breaking out of your crate to having socks for certainly are a handful. But you are my handful (well and Sienna, and sometimes Pep's, too). You have brought so much joy to my life.

Even though you're turning ONE tomorrow, I have to let you know that you are not even close to being allowed out of your crate. Because, as much as I love you, you cannot be trusted. Ok? Do you need a reminder of the glasses incident? But you're a good boy. And I love you with all of my heart.

Now. Let's see just how friggin' cute you are.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Babysitter's Club: Part Deux

Last night, I went to see my friend Jordyn. Now, I hadn't sat for her in two months so I figured some things had changed.

Things that changed:

Her haircut (very cute, btw)
Now can do the chicken dance
Says 'dada' non-stop
Likes to try to open doors
She is moving to the "big girl room" in daycare next week

Things that have not changed:


Here you see, she is actually trying to STAB ME WITH A PLASTIC FORK...

I actually have photos of her tray from this two-hour (on and off that is) feeding FIASCO but it might make you throw up a bit because it looks like a WAR ZONE.

But no worries, we made up in no time. This gossip session consisted of: TWILIGHT. Apparently, she has been hearing about all the buzz building over the New Moon trailer and how CONVENIENT that I just happened to have the book with me.

I think someone has a crush on Edward....although she was intrigued by Jacob and his whole werewolf thing...

Now, I know what you are thinking..."isn't she a little young, Katie, to be reading about vampires and werewolves??" First off, people, IT'S A LOVE STORY and second, it's better than what her mom has her reading...check out the shopping cart.

Really, Stace? A book about a serial killer? Can you imagine if THAT was a pop-up?
Also, if you're interested in hiring this AWESOME sitter, my rates are as follows:

$10/hour basic
+$25.60 for each meal
+9.00 for every additional minute over the initial 30 minute mealtime