Thursday, March 25, 2010

An Open to Jay-Z and Beyonce

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Carter,

I would like to put in a formal request for you two to be my Godparents.

Jay, you may remember me from your concert here two years ago on your Heart of the City Tour with Mary J. I was seated next to your friend, Rev Run. I was on my feet the entire time with my ROC sign in the air.

Beyonce, we've been girls since Destiny's Child. Bug-a-boo? CLASSIC. And as much as I loved being a Wild Thing for Halloween, I still regret not going for the Single Ladies leotard idea.

I really feel like you guys would be there for me when I have 99 problems, even if a boy is one and the three of us, we could be young forever.

I've seen Fade to Black too many times to count and I just checked out your NY-Z documentary where John Mayer described Mr. Carter as "indefinitely curious." Do you know how inspiring that is? The two of you have officially replaced SJP and Matthew Broderick as my favorite power couple. You are unstoppable and I cannot wait for your next collaboration. Perhaps a '13 Bonnie and Clyde?

I also officially volunteer to keep Kanye in check at all award shows. We go way back, too. And a majority of the time, I've got an Empire State of Mind.

...And I just did just hear that the Mrs. might be expecting. I make an excellent babysitter :)

So, let's make it official and call me Kay-Z because you can't Knoch this hustle. I'll meet you outside the Pearl after the show Saturday night and we can head over to Tao to pop some bubbly to celebrate - but of course, no Cristal.



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